Summer time. For many parents, it’s far from relaxing. Kids who are settled into a routine of school, after school programs, and/or daycare from September to June still need full time care. For working parents, creating a patchwork of camps, town programs, babysitters, visits with relatives, daycare, vacation time, and/or tag-team parenting can be a nightmare of logistics and expense. For the single working parent who doesn’t have a partner to share the carpools and daily care, it can be an even bigger challenge. Even for families fortunate enough to have a parent at home, summertime can mean increased stress as kid(s) and parent(s) deal with each other for a whole day instead of around school hours. However much we love and adore our children, the fiftieth "I’m bored" in the space of a few hours can be enough to put us close to the edge. The school year looks mighty good to many of us by the end of July and there’s still a month to go.

START PLANNING EARLY

Veteran parents know to start planning early. When our first-born got old enough to start going to day camps instead of day care, it was a real shock to find that most of the slots had been filled in February. February! In February, my husband and I were still thinking about snowsuits, not swimsuits. We had thought that May was plenty early to deal with signing up for camp. Silly us. We didn’t understand that in our area, there simply aren’t enough summer daycare and camp slots to go around.

To prevent a last minute scramble that often results in fewer choices and more expense, start early. It's important to figure out what options are available in your area and when you have to put them in place. Talk to other parents. Call the school guidance counselor, your pastor or rabbi, or the local children's librarian. Most of the best choices are found through word-of-mouth.

SUMMER CHILDCARE OPTIONS

Summer Camps, of course, are often on the top of the list of ways to keep children happily and constructively occupied for at least part of the summer. Do carefully consider the ages and stages of your children when thinking about camps. Make sure they are ready for extended time away from you or away from home.

Day camps: Day camps are a good beginning experience, especially for children under age 10. Those run by your local Recreation Department, churches, and organizations like the Scouts and the Y often offer a good first time camp experience. Lower in cost than overnight camps, they are an affordable option for many families. Since they are run by communities and charitable organizations, many have generous scholarships. Most offer crafts, swimming lessons, and games.

Specialized Day Camps for sports, theatre, arts, or music are also offered in many communities. Whether town-sponsored or run as a small business, they offer children the opportunity to hone skills, try out a new activity, or simply spend a week or two focussed on something they especially love.

Parent-run camp co-ops: If you can't find a camp that meets your needs, consider starting a camp co-op with other parents who have children the same age as your own. Hold a meeting to decide on issues like schedule, cost, activities, whether it's okay to take the kids to the local lake, etc. Each parent then arranges his or her work life so time as "Camp Director" is shared. (For several years, I took my vacation time as 5 Fridays instead of a week off so that I could be the Friday camp counselor in such a co-op. Other parents I know take a week at a time as the "counselor".) Hire a young teenager or two to help. 12-15 year olds are generally unable to find paid work and are often tired of the local camp scene themselves. For them, being a helper is a new and exciting option. Keep the number of "campers" small and manageable. And by all means, take into consideration that not everyone can manage 5 or 6 preschoolers or elementary aged children. Sometimes there are other ways for a parent to be a contributing member without overseeing a whole day (like providing snacks, doing more of the driving, planning and providing supplies for craft activities, etc.) Please note that there are sometimes state or local laws that impact this kind of arrangement. Be smart and factor such regulations into your planning.

Residential (SleepOver) Camps: A week is often plenty long enough for a child's first overnight experience. Some camps even offer a "first timers camp" of only two to three days. As your children develop more self-confidence, they will let you know that they are ready for longer stretches away from home. During a first introduction to overnight camp, it's much better to have a child begging for more than crying to come home.

There are hundreds and hundreds of residential camps. For an excellent listing, arranged by region and interests, see www.kidcamps.com. These camps can be quite expensive but many do have scholarships.

One of the best-kept secrets in terms of cost and quality is Girl Scout camps. No, your daughter doesn't have to be a Girl Scout during the school year to go. Just register her as a Scout at the time you apply for camp. Other organizations, like the Ys and church camps, also are less expensive than commercial options.

SCHOOLS

Summer School: Don't let any negative memories or associations you have with the idea of summer school stand in your way. Check them out. These days, local school systems often offer a rich combination of academic help and courses in arts and crafts, theater, photography, and sports. This option is especially valuable to children who tend to lose ground academically during the summer but they can also serve to either jumpstart a child in a new course or give him or her the chance to try out something new.

Residential Schools: Many private schools and colleges also offer academic programs during the summer. Is your child learning disabled? Perhaps a summer program at a special school would give him or her some new skills. Is your teen a whiz at a world language? There are summer institutes that offer total immersion study. Is your child a gifted artist? A summer program at an art college might give him or her a chance to try out what it means to be a serious artist for a few weeks.

TEEN TOURS AND ADVENTURES

There are amazing opportunities available for teens: Biking through Europe, rafting the Colorado, or trekking through the Rockies are only some of the choices you can find on the InterNet. Although quite expensive, they certainly offer the chance to broaden a high-schoolers experience in the world. Check www.OutwardBound.com. This year 147 different trips are listed for teens. Other tours can be found by clicking on "Teen Tours and Adventures" at www.kidcamps.com.

To meet the expense of these types of activities, I encourage parents to require their teen to earn at least part of the fees. Kids who help pay their way tend to take the experience more seriously and get more out of it.

WORK

Volunteer Work: Kids who are too young for paid work but who either can't or won't go to camp can often find volunteer work for at least part of the summer. Non-profit organizations (including those that run day camps) never have enough money to do what they want to do. Kids can volunteer to answer phones, help with office filing and paperwork, shelve books at the library, assist at fundraising events, be on a clean-up crew at local parks, or be "counselors-in-training" at day care centers and kids' camps. Unlike their friends who just hang out all summer, kids who volunteer will have the beginnings of a resume and solid references when the time comes for them to apply for paid work in the not too distant future.

Paid Work: Older teens usually don't have to be persuaded to look for a paid job. They like the idea of a paycheck and the financial independence that comes with it. But a teen's first work experience can also be an important course in the "school of life". When possible, help your teen earn more than money this summer. See if the two of you can find something that will give your child an opportunity to work at something that helps him or her explore a career interest. If that isn't possible, even a retail job in the mall, or a counter job at the local fast food place can help him or her learn to be on time, to dress appropriately, to work with the public, and to follow directions.

Camp counseling gives older kids a chance to be away from home, to try out leadership skills, and to earn money too. Go to www.campjobs.com to find job listings from all over the country.

IT'S WORTH THE EFFORT

Whenever you can, include your children in summertime planning. They will be much more cooperative and enthusiastic if they feel they have had some say in the matter.

Make a grid. Put the children's names down the left side. Put the weeks of summer across the top. Fill it in together. Which weeks are to be set aside for family vacation or just family time or a project at home? Which weeks are covered by visits to relatives? Which weeks need childcare coverage? Talk together about the options available to you and the budget you have available. You can probably think of some limited choices for your younger children so that they can be involved in the project. Older children can work on investigating websites, sending for brochures, or researching area options. Teens can work out a balance of work and play. (Summertime employers are often generous in allowing teens a week or two off during the summer if they know the plans from the start.)

There's no doubt about it: Putting together the annual patchwork of summer activities with and for our children is work. Done well, it offers more than just childcare coverage. Done well, it also offers parents peace of mind and children and teens a safe and happy summer.

Dr. Marie advises:

To give yourself and your children a happy summer . . .

• Start planning early

• Carefully consider the ages and stages of your children. Think hard about what they are really ready for. If your child is miserable during summertime activities, you will be miserable too.

• Include children in summertime planning whenever you can. Children, like most adults, are much more enthusiastic about participating in things when they feel that they have had a say.

For more thoughts about camp:

Click to www.HelpHorizons.com and find the following articles in the library there.

"Here Comes Summer" -- an article directed to high school and college students about planning their summertime months.

"What's So Great About Summer Camp?" - looks at many good reasons for sending a child to camp.